Strumming Some Heartsrings

Strumming Some Heartstrings

at 2:30 PM

you don't care about me,
you dont care about my feelings.
is what i asked for too much?

I just want your company only.
Everytime i ask you to accompany me, you gave me excuses like you're sick tired don't feel like going out.
But for the previous weeks you have been going out with your friends. So coincidence the week i asked you out and you tell me you're sick.
This doesn't just happen only once okay. FYI it happens all the time, i asked you to accompany me on Sunday but gave me so much of excuses. You always told me its unintentionally, but why is it happening all the time?

I asked you to bake cookies with me, you told me you need to pack your room. How come last week you didn't pack must wait till this week, purposely this week when i asked you. Even thought you are not giving me shit excuses but i feel that you are!!! I have feelings you know, you can't just hurt me again and again.

Do you know, what you been saying, doing to me always hurt me?
I don't cry you know, I don't cry when my Grandfather pass away, I don't cry when my uncle passed away
but i cry everytime because of the things you said to me.

I'm a girl that needs to be loved you know? I want you to care for me, shower me with concerns and not always hurting me with your words.

For my birthday, you didn't plan anything for me at all. Just because you are busy. You didn't even bother to buy me a gift.
you just simply tell me you had no time to go look for my presents.
How could you have no time? You're working Mon-Fri, but there's still Sat and Sun right?
you could stay at home and sleep, rather then going out.
You know my birthday is coming, you could prepare my gift at Sept/Oct/Nov. There are so many weekends in a month. But no, you don't even make the effort to buy.

For Christmas, I thought you would get something for me because you told me you feel guilty you didn't get anything for me for my birthday, But in the end I don't even have any Christmas gift from you. You tell me you're busy again, No time go shop for my presents. why must you always give me these shit excuses? No one ask you to buy it last minute, you can buy it at end of Nov, beginning of Dec. You don't have to buy what expensive things for me you know?! Even if it's just a card, i would be very very happy. But why didn't you even make the effort? All your actions made me feel I'm just nothing to you. Why must you tell me YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME ?! I tell you it's okay without a present, is make you (myself) feel better.
Put it simple, YOU DON'T HAVE THE HEART. While me? I'm been saving money since Sept just to buy your present and pay for the Hotel. I scrimp and save, eat cheap cheap food, didn't go shop for clothes for 2months okay! just to save enough money to spend Christmas with you. I even ordered clothes online at Nov for you. Then you? what did you do ?? You don't even want to go to pan with me, and I got to beg and beg you for months!!!!

I can't even go Countdown with you. I'm not asking you to go to those crowded places and countdown with the whole world. Just you and me, we could go to the beach or go Henderson wave. But you would rather be at home - sleeping. It's just one year once, Could you make an exception for me?
I went down to Marina to countdown you know? But i left the place before 11pm. I can't do it with other people
And you're the first person i wish i could see ////

" I don't even let my mum touch. you think i will let you touch? "
Ya i know I'm nothing, Nothing in your heart.
You always don't care about my feelings,
You don't love me at all

You told me after pushcart you wana find sales job, And if the company gives you car you would bring me along when you're working, then give me half of your pay.
you told me after pushcart, we could look for the same job together. We could work together just like last time you were my supervisor.
you told me even if there's no more pushcart, our relationships, the feelings will not change
you told me we could go Night Safari Halloween in 2010.
you told me you won't click yes on those people in tagged
you told me you wont send messages to those people in tagged
you told me we could go Mt Faber again, in the morning.
you told me we could go to the beach again.
you told me you want to give me lifetime _____
you told me what's the point of giving me Goodnight Message
you told me we would forever be so good
you told me you will never leave me

why are you always making empty promises to me.
you don't talk to me in the manner you used to talk to me anymore
What happened ? what happened to us?

you told me you are trying very hard for the feelings, but sorry i really cannot see you put in any effort.

If i pray to God, will He bring back the old You back to me?

xoxo,
you know you love me

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